Winter Wonderland...

This morning we woke up to a Winter Wonderland. It has been a long time since I've experienced a "good" snow, so I just had to take pictures. We got somewhere between 2 & 3 inches; everything was covered in a soft, powdery blanket of snow.

I couldn't wait for Courtney to wake up so that she could see it. Of course, today was the day she decided to sleep in. I was afraid it would all melt before she got up. As tempted as I was, and despite several trips to her room, I let her sleep. Much to my delight, there was still plenty of snow for picture taking when she awoke.

I thought Courtney would be delighted to see such a marvelous sight, but she didn't seem very impressed. She was overwhelmed by the brightness of the sun glistening on the snow that now covered what was once a very familiar place. She seemed disoriented to some degree, too- I suppose she was wondering where her backyard went. Not to mention the fact that she had been practically swallowed up by a huge, purple snowsuit.

I let her touch the snow, but she was soon bored and wanted to go back inside. She had taken in and figured out all that she wanted to know within about 2 minutes. Now she was done.

While I completely understood where she was coming from, I was a little disappointed that she didn't realize just how wonderful this morning was. The kid in me wanted to build snowmen, take pictures, and enjoy this rare and beautiful gift... but the kid in my arms just wanted to go back inside.

I suppose it's kind of like the kid in my heart versus the kid in my head. When God gives me a wonderful gift, the kid in my heart wants to enjoy it to the fullest until I've exhausted all of my energy... but the kid in my head wants to over-analyze things to the point that I don't even take delight in what God has given me. It reminds me of an instance in college when a friend approached me with a leaf from a magnolia tree. "Kristi," he said, "Take this leaf and enjoy it. Don't analyze it, don't try to figure it out, and don't apply any special analogy to it... just enjoy it." I couldn't believe he said that. In fact, I had started contemplating an analogy even as he was speaking. Since I respected this person so much (and figured he was trying to teach me something), I did what he asked.

As the leaf accompanied me to my classes, meals, even to church, I began to realize something. I had been taking God's little gifts to the laboratory in my mind, disecting them until there was nothing left to enjoy. I was searching for answers to questions like: Why did God give this to me? What can I learn from this? How can I bless someone else with this?... and all the while each question had the same answer: God is love. Don't get me wrong, those questions are not bad at all- but I was so busy trying to figure out God's blessing that I often ended up missing the blessing itself.

What a great reminder this morning of a lesson I learned so long ago! In the rush of swaddling Courtney in the snowsuit, charging my camera and finding the perfect lighting... well, I confess that I forgot to just sit in awe of God and enjoy the blessing of such a beautiful morning. Now it's all melted, and my pictures just didn't capture the glory of it all. So I encourage all of you, faithful blog readers, to stop and enjoy God's blessings today. They might just melt away before you know it.

Pink Vengeance

New babies are often mistaken in regards to their gender. Short hair and rounded features make it hard to distinguish little girls from boys. We new moms try our best to let the world know that our little girls are girls and our little boys are boys... sometimes to no avail.

I constantly hear comments like, "Oh what a cute little boy!" and "Aw, he's so cute. How old is your little man?" I have resolved to ignore such comments, as I understand how hard it can be to tell the difference between babies' genders... but at times I am still dumb-struck at how inobservant some people can be.

For instance, today Courtney and I were at Wal-Mart. She was dressed in pink, with a pink blanket, a pink pacifer, and a purple doll. A well-meaning older lady approached us, smiled, and said, "Oh, well, now that must be a little boy. He's so cute!"

"Yes, mam," I replied through clenched teeth, "thank you."

I didn't want to correct her- she was a sweet older lady, and I know she didn't mean anything by it. Besides, a man made the same mistake at the gym this morning. I hear that sort of thing all the time. I know it's partly my fault for dressing Courtney in little brown pants or green shirts... still feminine when you look up close, but easily mistaken for "boy clothes" from a distance. But why should she be forced to wear pink every day just so the world can be assured of her femininity? Besides, as illustrated by our experience in Wal-Mart this morning, pink doesn't always work.

I guess I let it get to me today. Most days I can let these comments go, but today I had had enough. I found myself shopping online for the pinkest of all pink frilly shirts I could find on Oldnavy.com. My vendeta grew personal when we got home. I dressed Courtney in the pinkest, frilliest, most GIRLY dress I could find, put a pink bow in her hair, and took several pictures to post on our blog.

"This will teach em!" I thought. "Now the WHOLE WORLD will know she's a girl! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"

Time out: What was I thinking?

So I took the pictures. I got several cute shots, but for all the wrong reasons. I think Courtney must have picked up on my attitude, because the more pictures we took the more she protested, until finally she pulled down my PINK backdrop, tore off her PINK shoes, and fussed until her face turned PINK. Of course, the mom in me took over and I picked her up. I helped her shed the frills and I put her back in her little onesie (which, go figure, was also pink...).

Keith walked in the door and I all of a sudden realized how ridiculous I was acting. By the time I realized my motivation behind the little shopping spree & high-glam photo shoot, her new, PINK, trendy clothes were already on the way; and I had given Courtney everything she needed to fuel a few nightmares about being chased by ribbon, lace and pink frills.

Why did I think I had to PROVE to the world that my daughter was, in fact, a little girl? Who cares? So I heard a few uninformed comments this week... no big deal. I couldn't believe I let myself get so worked up about something so insignificant... again. Courtney was oblivious to each and every comment, but was still subjected to mommy's little passive-aggressive tantrum. I learned something important from this experience: What Courtney doesn't know won't hurt her... but what Mommy doesn't know is that sometimes she can act like an overly-emotional doofus.

The Gift of a Smile...

Courtney has become especially interested in babies lately. Perhaps this is why playing with a baby doll at the nursery sent her into a laughing fit Wednesday night. I loved watching her play, so, of course, my first stop in Wal-Mart today was the toy section. I picked up a cute little baby doll- just a $0.97 cutie with a white & purple dress. It's small, so I thought Courtney would be able to grasp it easily. As I paid for it at the checkout I thought, "Well, I hope she likes it... if not we'll just throw it in the toy box with her other toys." Secretly, though, I hoped she would love it. After all, this was the first baby doll I have ever bought for her. It would be a gift from me... not something she needed, but something I delighted to give her.

When we got home I got out the little doll, fully prepared to face rejection. I was sure her pacifier, moose, or one of her other current favorites would win out over this little doll. I pulled it out of the sack, showed it to her and was met with the biggest smile! She looked at me as if to say, "Is that for me?" I smiled and gave it to her. She was so excited. It went straight into her mouth (a sure sign that she loved it). My heart melted- she really loved it!



It made me think about all of the little gifts God gives us each day. Not things we need, but just little things He wants to give us... like 3 green lights in a row, a short line at the supermarket, or a beautiful sunset. I want to melt His heart with a smile at those little gifts. Afterall, the gift I received from my little girl today- that big smile- was worth more to me than I could ever express in words.








Apparently Courtney was so thankful she wanted to repay me. She is making a little gift of her own right now... boy, diapers go fast around here! So, until next time happy blog readers- give someone the gift of a smile today. You never know how much it might mean to them.